Suffering

Everyone I'm sure would agree, experiences some type of suffering at different times of their life. It is a result of the fall, and something God choses to use (at times) in order to teach us a valuable lesson. Some people don't really ever have health issues...and then there are some that have problems all the time, or are maybe prone to getting sick.

I am one of the latter people.

The Lord knew what He was doing when He made me, it just may seem to others that it was a 'mistake'. It is something you have to learn to accept, live through, and makes you learn to trust that God has a plan that is perfect and good for your life. Now, I'm quite sure He does not desire for us to have suffering, but I do think there is a reason that some go through trials, and pain more than others. One of them is to have a complete heart of compassion.

After having gone through many different circumstances such as epilepsy for 8 years when I was 3 1/2; migraines and food allergies when I was 12; chronic fatigue, breathing issues, heart irregularity, asthma (hospitalized twice because of it), lowered immune problems, and doctors never knowing what's wrong with me, over the past 4 years or so; God has given me a compassion for other people who struggle in these areas. And it helps me be able to handle problems better, since I've gone through so much already.

Recently, I was blessed to have a stomach problem for 5 weeks, where I was constantly either in pain, or nauseated. The only thing my stomach could handle was rice and tilapia, or berries and yoghurt. And I ate that every day for 5 weeks straight. And lost 15 lbs.

After some testing, I found out that I had parasites and fungus in my stomach, with my good and bad bacteria out of whack causing inflammation, called gastritis. I've been taking a probiotic, and some homeopathic drops to help with that. And it's worked, praise the Lord!

Right when I was kind of starting to get better, I was pleasantly attacked by a very large and protective dog in the country : ) The bite marks were not deep, only mere scratches that hurt.

 

 

What should have been a normal healing process, was complicated by a rare nerve disorder called RSD: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. The only thing was that I was not diagnosed with it until last week...and it's been 5 weeks since I was bit. So I went from limping, to hopping, to crutches, with my leg getting worse and worse, and no doctor knowing what was wrong. I can't flex my foot, it is constantly cold to the touch, it turns different colors sometimes, it is extremely sensitive to touch. All the symptoms of RSD. The only treatment is intense physical therapy, and it can take up to a year to completely walk normally again. Because I am young, and it was caught early, we are confident that I can overcome this with the Lord's help, in the next couple months. But it takes a perseverance to go through all the pain in order to get better. We have to work on desensitizing the nerves in my leg, which is a very painful process, along with learning how to walk again. I get very hot and lightheaded while trying to walk certain distances.

 

So what does Christ say about all of this?

Well, in James 1 He writes about how trials in your life produces perseverance.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face

trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing

of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must

finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete,

not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-5

 

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. (vs. 12)

 

You know, maybe God needs me to learn perseverance like never before. Maybe He is preparing me for something greater that is coming...which means that it is for my own good. And anyways, this is nothing compared to some of the things that our Brothers and Sisters around the world go through each day. I mean, Paul himself went through probably the most things for Christ that I can think of.

He was put in prison multiple times.

He got 39 lashes 5 times (probably some type of rough rope).

He was beaten with rods 3 times.

He was stoned once.

He was shipwrecked 3 times, and spent a day and a night in the open sea.

He was constantly on the run, since he was in danger from:

rivers,

bandits,

his own neighbors,

Gentiles,

the city,

the country,

the sea,

and false brothers (pranks).



He was constantly going without sleep.

There were times where he was hungry and thirsty, but couldn't eat.

He was exposed to the cold.

He was out without any clothing.

The government tried to arrest him, though he escaped.

 

In spite of all that, he still encourages us that "we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

 

What have I to say?

Yes, I have more compassion for others.

Yes, I can relate to people who go through these things.

Yes, I can hopefully help comfort others in their trial.

But I can only do this because of the Lord. He has helped me get through each suffering as they came. He is the One who is using this in my life for my own good, and hopefully for the good and building up of others. The question is, am I willing to suffer for the sake of Jesus Christ, and the maturing of my own spiritual walk, and the comfort of other human beings?

Suffering is a part of life. But it is our choice to be joyful during those times, and to allow God to change us as a result.

If you are going through something right now, I would encourage you to read a book by Sally Clarkson called Dancing with my Father. It has been one that has encouraged me, and truly blessed my life.

The other thing I would encourage you to read is, 2 Corinthians all the way through 1 John : ) All of those books in the New Testament are such a blessing to read! Almost the whole thing is underlined in my bible.

 

I pray that somehow this is an encouragement or a challenge to you, and that you will never forget the absolutely beautiful plan our Heavenly Father has perfectly picked out for you. No matter what you are going through, know that you are very special to at least One very Special Person.

He loves you so very much, and is carrying you through this time of life.

Praise the Lord!

 

 

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia Grace

 





Deserve?

 

I have been thinking lately, about the incredible love of God...and how much I don't deserve it. The Lord loves us so stinkin' much, that he actually sent Jesus to come pay for the price of our sins. Something that we should have paid for. We sin over and over again, and shame our Father, but all of that was put on the cross and died with Him over 2,000 years ago. We weren't even born yet. I don't deserve this, or the fact that He is building an absolutely wonderfully fabulous Home for me when I pass away.

 

Sometimes I believe we take advantage of God's forgiveness of our sins, and don't really think what He went through to get rid of our filth. It is not a light matter, let me tell you! I am even at fault for this. A lot of times, I just say "Lord please forgive me of this or that" but don't really think about the seriousness of it all. The Lord likens hate to murder, meaning that he sees it as the same (1 John 3:15) He views sin, even what we would call "little ones", as something dreadful. And if the Lord thinks that way, we need to too. If we want to be like Jesus we need to follow His example, and even the way He thinks, since His Ways are right.

 

I've been thinking about this so much, that there have been times where it is hard for me to accept His forgiveness for my sins, because I know how much I don't deserve it. It is definitely a learning process, to accept His mercy. I can't understand why God would love me so much as to have mercy and grace on me in my unrighteousness. I have now been able to fully comprehend those words Grace and Mercy because of this realization of my sin and His absolute forgiveness.

 

I owe Him so much! And the only way I can figure to pay Him back even relatively close, is by totally surrendering and giving Him my entire life, to serve Him, honor Him, love Him, obey Him, and do whatever He asks and requires of me. There is no wiggle room. There is no room for worldly pleasures, for worry, sin, or pride. If I am to give Him my all, I need to give Him my all with joy and confidence, since I know that He will take care of me. Will you surrender?

 

 

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia 





Jesus and His Kingdom

 

 

I have been recently reading through Revelations, and dwelling on the beauty of Heaven. The end times especially shows the power of Jesus Christ and the awesomeness of being with Him.

 

"After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count,

from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne

and in front of the Lamb.

They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.

And they cried out in a loud voice:

"Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne,

and to the Lamb."

All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four

living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne

and worshiped God, saying:

"Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks

and honor and power and strength

be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!"

 

Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes--who are they,

and where did they come from?"

I answered, "Sir, you know."

And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation;

they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

Therefore,

"they are before the throne of God and serve Him day and night in His

temple;

and He who sits on the throne will spread His tent over them.

Never again will they hunger;

never again will they thirst.

The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat.

For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;

He will lead them to springs of living water.

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

                                             ~Revelation 7:9-17

 

Doesn't that paint the most beautiful picture of Christ and Heaven? It makes me desire to be with Jesus all the more, falling on my face, and worshiping Him.

 

 

So, I decide to google videos of people who had gone to Heaven and returned to tell their story.

I found some on http://www.cbn.com/tv/2125902823001 

The amazing thing that I discovered in each different story, was how they described it as a place filled with love, peace, and beauty. They kept talking about how you could feel Jesus' love for you in heaven. How there was just an amazing sense of peace with no fear at all. And especially how beautiful and brilliant the colors are: in the landscape, in the streets of pure gold, and shining like a rainbow from behind a 'great dome of sorts'.

Friends, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, this is what we have to look forward to! This is the life that God had originally planned for us before the fall of man when sin entered the world, in Genesis chapter 3. This is our true home.

We need to follow the Lords plan in our lives, and patiently wait for Him to complete the good work He started in us, so that when our time comes to be with Jesus. . .there will be no regrets.

 

 

On thing I was not expecting to find on that website, was the very vivid reality of hell. There was one man describing his experience. He had grown up in a Christian home, gone to church, and believed there were angels watching out for him. But, he went off into the Military, and got married. Neither one of those lasting very long. This man had become so depressed and angry, that he hitchhiked his way back home to some friends. For two weeks, he became addicted to drugs and smoking. Finally, one night he decided to take a pill after having smoked cocaine. Immediately, he started shaking and had this sensation that someone was pulling him. He heard someone saying, "I got you. I've got you." As this man descended into a pit, he saw flames at the bottom and smelt a horrible stench. He correlated the smell to 'worse than rotten eggs.' He could see these people in the fire with no way to get out. They were crying, and trying, but nothing was working. Finally, overcome with everything, he cried out, "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" At that moment, he felt someone carrying him out of the pit and he returned to his body. When he awoke, his friends were around him crying. They said he had been dead for 35 minutes.

 

 

With tears, this man realized how much Jesus really did love him. He loved him so much, that he actually saved him from hell. The next day, he went back to face his commander in the military after having been gone for 2 weeks. He was put in detention for a month, and during that time, completely surrendered his life to the Lord!

 

But the reality is still there: no matter how much you don't want to believe it, there is a heaven and a hell. This is what Christ longs to save you from. . .if only you put your complete faith and trust in Him. Hell is a place of torment, a place of "wailing and gnashing of teeth." (Matthew 13:50). It is a place that we all deserve to go. . .but by God's abundant grace and mercy, full of love and compassion, He has saved me from that. And He desires to save you. Do you believe?

 

In the song by Plumb it says,

"I don't deserve Your love,

but you give it to me anyway.

Can't get enough:

You're everything I need.

And when I walk away

You take off running a come right after me.

It what You do.

And I don't deserve You."

 

 

 

We don't deserve the fabulous love of God, with all the sins we have committed and done against Him. But He still loves us anyways! How much more should we love Him in return? How can we repay what Christ has done for us: dying the worst death you could imagine, with our sins placed on His back; the pain, criticism, and suffering He endured in our place. What can you and I do, in return?

Well, we will never in our lifetime be able to fully repay what Christ did for us. But the best we can do, after putting our trust in Him and letting Him come into our lives, is to serve Him in whatever way possible. . .one way, by serving those here on earth.

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me." ~Matthew 25:40

We can also love Him unconditionally with the love that He has graciously placed in our hearts.

Serve your Father, love Him, and follow in His footsteps until He brings you home into His Heavenly Kingdom. May you be blessed as you follow your King!

 

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia 

 

 

 

 



A beautiful soul in Heaven!

 Today was a day of remembering and celebrating the life of 13 year old Lydia Kizziar, who went into the open arms of Jesus on the afternoon of Saturday, January 4th, 2014.  She was a beautiful young lady, who you could tell adored her Father.  Lydia passed quietly from this life into Heaven, after a short battle from influenza: the H1N1 swine flu.  Nothing can compare to the sorrow we face as friends of this dear one, or the joy that Jesus is experiencing, finally getting to meet and take care of one of His children.

 

Philippians 3:20-21

"But our citizenship is in Heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself. "

 

This is what Christ has done for Lydia!  He has transformed her body into a glorious body that resembles Himself, only by His power. . .because her citizenship is in Heaven.  She is now in her real home.  The place she was designed to live in.  The city that God has made for her.  This was His plan, even before Lydia was born.

 

 

Most of us as humans view death as a bad thing.  Something that could have been prevented "if only. . ."  And then we realize, for a few weeks afterward, how short life is.  We then move on and forget the valuable lesson we have just learned: until someone else dies.  What we don't really realize is that death is a beautiful thing.  In fact, we should change the word to 'pass'.  Passing from this life, into the arms of Jesus is something that should be celebrated, awesome, and lovely.  Yes, there will forever be an empty spot in our hearts, but think about the joy that our Savior has to finally have His daughter come home! Really. Think about it. God is giving us the privilege to take care of the children He has blessed us with.  And yet they are really not even ours, He is just lending them to us for a period of time. They are His kids. We are His kids. So when time came for Lydia to come home, it was probably one of the best days of His life : )

 

Psalm 116:15

"How precious in the sight of the Lord is the death (or passing) of  His saints."

 

Another version also says," Precious in the sight of Jehovah. . ." (ASV)

"Dear in the eyes of the Lord. . ." (BBE)

"The death of one who belongs to the Lord. . ." (NCV)

"The death of His faithful Ones. . ."  (CSB)

 

To Him, having His children come home is a precious thing.  Something that is beautiful to our Lord, and makes Him happy.  You would be too, if your child came back home after being away for years.

 

 

 

Something that I have been questioning throughout this time is, why would God take someone so young?  A mere 13 year old.  I keep thinking, 'she had so much potential.  She had so much more of life to live.'  But no. Lydia was not made to live past thirteen years old.  She wasn't supposed to live until she turned 80 or 90.  The Lord had already numbered her days, even before she was born.  He knew exactly what time, what day, what age. And so He does for each and every one of us.  He knows exactly how long I am going to live. He knows what time, what day, what age. He knows when you are going to pass away into His Kingdom.  The crazy part is that we as humans don't know : ) We have no idea when our time will come to be with Him in Heaven.  So why don't we enjoy the time we have with each other now, before we regret the time we didn't spend, later?

 

I would encourage all of you parents, to love spending time with your children, young or old. To enjoy the noise, to appreciate the tears, to get to know your kids and encourage them in their walk with Jesus.

 

I would ask all you young adults and children, to adore your siblings. To not just think of them as an annoyance, or bother, but a blessing that God has graciously given to you. Read to them. Take them on dates. Play at the park. Enjoy doing what they enjoy doing. Be an example of love to them. Because you don't know how long God has planned for them to be here on this earth. It may be 2 years. It may be 19. They might even make it to 40 : )  You never know. So treasure the time you have to spend with your siblings. It's a blessing.

 

And for all of you that are an only child of the family, I would encourage you to love on your parents. Spend time with them. Bless them with a special dinner you prepared. Make them play games with you (my favorite part!). Take walks with them. Listen to music while decorating the house with your mom, or rearranging furniture. Learn from the special qualities they possess. And just enjoy your time together.

 

For those who don't have any family around, find someone to love on. I'm sure there are plenty of children around where you live, that you can reach out to and bless. Spend time with them. Tell them about Christ, if they don't yet know. Hook up with a family who maybe needs a little help around the house or yard, and encourage them with your service and love. There is always someone who could use help. . .

 

 

As I was sitting in a chair at the back of the church, I was struck with how many peoples lives were touched by one life. 13 years. Probably over 1,000 lives touched, inspired, blessed and strengthened. A room only meant to hold 300 people, with about 350 jam-packed in there. People lining the walls. All there to celebrate one lovely life. To remember the years she was with us. And as I was sitting there, the pianist lead everyone in singing 'It is well with my Soul.'  Everyone started singing on the top of their voice in unison. . .it sounded like angels worshipping the Father. Tears were streaming down my face, as I pictured Lydia singing with us, 'it is well with my soul.' She had made it. She ran her race well, and was sitting at Jesus' feet while we were down here crying, praying, worshipping, and remembering a life that was lived for Christ. Lydia is home.

 

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

"But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.

For this we say to you by the Word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep.

 For the Lord Himself will descend from Heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.

Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.

Therefore comfort one another with these words."

 

May the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26) Amen.

 

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia 



Blessings. . .

 

I've been thinking over the past couple weeks, how blessed we are.  With earthly blessings, spiritual blessings, and heavenly ones.  These earthly ones have been coming in the form of checks, cases of beef, and friends who have said they are praying for us. . .when I don't even know why.  I really don't understand why people are giving so much, when it's not like we're dealing with something traumatic and horrible, or just had a baby, or anything of that nature.  But it's made me in awe of God and the blessings that He loves giving to His children.  It's made me realize that someone doesn't have to be struggling in order to bless them with a prayer, gift card, check, or even some food. . .they could be doing wonderful financially, physically, and spiritually.  Yeah, I know that physically we aren't always doing that great. . .but comparatively, we aren't that bad off either.  Maybe there are some financial things that are going on that I don't know about in our family.  But just maybe, these gifts that have been given over the past month are just little blessings to show us the character of Christ, a character of love.

 

I don't know what to say, besides thank you : )  I'm so shocked at all the things people have graciously given:  I feel like we don't deserve all this. But it has caused me to notice this thing about Christ, that I've never seen before.  A different side of His character of love. I've never really thought about His blessings and love in this way until now.  And maybe that's all God wanted, out of all of these blessings.

James 1:17
"Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

 

 

 

The spiritual blessings that we are honored to have, is just the fact that we are saved.  We have the most awesome privilege anyone could ever own: we can talk to a wonderful God and Creator of this planet that we live on, the Creator of us personally.  We don't have to know Him, but He chose us, out of all the people in the world.  He saw you.  He saw me.  Why?  We'll never know, but it sure is a blessing beyond measure.  It's not like we're anything amazing before He saves us. . .in fact, we were pretty ugly as far as I'm concerned.  But He saved us, and makes us amazing. . .makes us, shapes us,  and changes us to be like Him.  It is a spiritual blessing we'll never be able to repay.  Not even a life lived for the Lord will be enough.  But we can at least start there : )

 

The other spiritual blessings that God has given us, is character.  To me, it's a blessing when God teaches me a new character that reflects Jesus and I finally get it.  Maybe you understand forgiveness, love, joy, courage, compassion, or being a servant.  There are many characters of Christ that we all need to learn, and isn't it a joy when He teaches you one that you can finally put to practice!  It's a blessing to learn and understand the characteristics of Him. . .even if it takes a little while to learn.  Are there any other spiritual blessings that you can think of?

Philippians 2:13
"For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure."

 



 

The next heavenly blessings that we have, are at least 2 little children in heaven with Jesus.  They went straight to see Him without us ever meeting.  Never once, did they come into this evil world.  All they know is streets of gold, glorious gates to welcome those from this life into the next, beautiful landscapes, delicious fruits, and the best Father they could ever have.  Their names?  Charity, and Jubilee.  When my mom delivered Levi, the midwife asked if we had miscarried one because it looked as if Levi had been an identical twin.  So, us kids named him just in case : )  His name is Aaron.  When it is our time to be with Jesus, there with probably be 3 little Lodi's running around that we'll finally be able to meet, after all these years.  But Jesus has had the privilege of taking care of them for us, until we all unite with Him. . .and I'm quite sure He's done a better job raising them, then we ever could have done!

1 Corinthians 2:9
"But it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for those that love Him."

Praise the Lord for all these blessings.  He gives us earthly blessings, spiritual ones, and heavenly blessings.  Don't you see how blessed we are?  What more could a person want when we have Jesus and His character?

Ephesians 1:3
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ."

How have you seen God bless you?  And can you see Him in the little things, or only the big ones?

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia 

These are the words of Christ. . .

I been sporadically trying to read through Revelations, and I just can't stop reading these specific chapters. . .

"These are the words of Him who holds the seven stars in His 

right hand and walks among the seven golden lamp stands." (Rev. 2:1)

"These are the words of Him who is the First and the Last,

who died and came to life again." (2:8)

"These are the words of Him who has the sharp, double-edged

sword." (2:12)

"These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like

blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze." (2:18)

"These are the words of Him who holds the seven Spirits

of God and the seven stars." (3:1)

"These are the words of Him who is Holy and True, who holds

the key of David. What He opens no one can shut, and what

He shuts no one can open." (3:7)

"These are the words of the Amen, the Faithful and true witness,

the ruler of God's creation." (3:14)

These are the words of God, Christ Jesus our Lord.

To me, it is so beautiful how God uses a different name (or description) for Himself, in each individual letter to the 7 churches.  It really shows you who the Lord is, "whose eyes are like blazing fire" "Him who is Holy and True, who holds the key of David", "who has the sharp double-edged sword", "who is the First and the Last, who died and came to life again", and on and on it goes with the picture of the beauty of the Lord.  He put those verses in the Bible so that way we can see Jesus, and picture Him in our minds, in the glory and majesty of His Holiness!  Can you imagine how awesome the artwork would be, if someone could accurately paint a picture of this?

It has made me think recently, how much I'm missing the Lord.  It's not Him, it me and my 'busyness'.  I feel awkward.  I don't want to be trying to act 'spiritual' like my siblings.  No, they don't necessarily act spiritual, they just know Jesus more than I do and therefore, live it out.  I want it to be my own wonderful relationship with Jesus. . .I just can't seem to get there.  I don't think knowing Jesus should be something you need to work at, it should be natural to talk to Him, and read the Bible.  But where I'm at, needs to be worked on.  I need to make more of an effort to become just like Jesus, talk to Him freely, and read His Word.  What about you?  Do you feel like you're learning and becoming more like the Lord, or is it becoming something you've been having to work at?

Being in the medical field, working as an EMT, thinking and praying about going on to become a firefighter/paramedic. . .it's a little harder than I expected, to grow spiritually.  I think I've been kind of wrapped up in studying, taking tests, trying to graduate, trying to figure out what field I'm supposed to be getting into, catching up on sleep, trying to get better physically. . .so many things.  And yet, I've enjoyed it.  I can definitely tell that Jesus has been there through it all, even when I wasn't quite focused on Him.  Who would think that they would enjoy taking major tests?  Who on earth, has fun taking a National test that is recorded at all times, and has to get handprinted before and after entering the room? Who enjoys getting woken up at 3:00 in the morning to help save someones life 15 minutes away, when you could have been sleeping longer?  Can't you see His hand?!  Listen, I'm homeschooled.  I've never had to sit in a classroom and take exams, and tests. . .those things make me nervous.  But to have fun?  Unreal.  So if you don't feel like you're spending enough time with the Lord, or getting very close to Him, just know that He really and truly is with you no matter what is happening in your life.  He loves you SO very much, and wants to have an incredible relationship with you. . .no matter if your spending time with Him or not, He's still there. . .so there's no getting away from Him : )

I have no clue why I write all this stuff, but I hope it makes sense, and does somebody good (if not me). But hey, at least it's not as long as my other posts! : )

Thank you for reading, and have a very Merry Christmas!

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia 

Life. . .

Wow.  Many things have happened since my last post in September.  Some good, and some bad.  But first, what does life mean anyway?

life.

the experience of being alive

"Life is a song--sing it. Life is a game--play it.

Life is a challenge--meet it. Life is a dream--realize it.

Life is a sacrifice--offer it. Life is love--enjoy it."

                              ~Sai Baba

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated"

                                   ~Confucius

Why is it that sometimes "the experience of being alive" isn't as pleasant as it sounds?  I think part of it is our attitude towards life. . .or the circumstances that arise in it.  And maybe the fact that sometimes we tend to lose our focus on Christ. . .at least I do.  I have a tendency to try and do things on my own, and even would rather sit an mope : )  But that is not being joyful of the life that God has given us!  It should be a privilege to be alive and live for Him.

I had the privilege to go help out at Medical Center of McKinney in the beginning of November.  It was required for my EMT school to have two clinical's there and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it : )  They were 12 hour shifts; one of them being on the night of the time change. . .making it 13 hours long!  It was hard, but really neat to meet different kinds of people in their times of need, and be able to help them.

I was also able to help on the back of an ambulance for 12 hours at a private ambulance service called TLC (Texas Lifeline Corperation).  A valuable lesson was learned:  the stretcher is the most dangerous piece of material on the box (ambulance).  It was a really neat experience for me to have.  I think I have finally figured out what I enjoy doing : )

Just this past Wednesday, I passed my finals test with a score of 85.1%, which I was very happy about!  The Lord has been amazing to me whenever I have had a major test in class: He has always given me a peace and excitement to do it and just have fun with it.  Now all I have left, is the big National test to take in the next 4 weeks. . .hopefully passing, and getting a certification in the mail.  I am quite shocked at how the Lord has helped me through EMT school all this time, and that this is really happening!  This is one of the good things God has been doing in the midst of the interesting stuff.

What 'interesting stuff' you say?  Well, the picture below might explain a few things. . .

And no, before I say anything else, I am not smoking : )  This is called a nebulizer treatment.



I was diagnosed with asthma, just 6 hours before this happened.  I was at school and all of my classmates and I had gone outside to do some hands on things. . .but I had accidently gone up the stairs too fast, and not really understood when enough was enough. My inhaler didn't quite work, since I had waited too long to do it.  Long story short, I was basically taken to the hospital by ambulance since I was kind of going into shock due to respiratory problems and being outside in the colder environment.  They then gave me a steroid shot, and a nebulizer treatment to help with everything. . .and then I finally felt better after all that.

I am now learning the hard way what triggers my asthma: one of them being cigarette smoke, or any other kind of smoke in general.  I'll be having to quit my job because of the people that smoke there, and am now trying to figure out where the Lord wants me to work after this.  I have also been semi-diagnosed with Myoclonic/Partial seizures, which mean that I will suddenly jerk, or my head will fall.  This week, I've been even dropping things at my work and not remembering how it happened: almost like my brain shuts down for a second, but I never lose consciousness.  All of this has occurred over the past month or so and has been so sudden, that it was really hard to deal with at first.  My body is hypersensitive to almost everything, causing me to be on a strict rotational diet where I only eat beans, meat, vegetables, some dairy products, and berries.  I have become highly allergic to sugar, including most fruits.  My mom is thinking that I have a high metal toxicity in my body (just like my brother Micah), and so we're going to test for that next week.  I already know that I have a horrible candida (yeast) problem, hence the sugar allergy, which might be causing my immune system to shut down and suddenly giving me these issues with asthma and seizures.  We are hopeful that it is curable, whatever it may be, and that I won't have to live with this my whole life : )

So this has been my story for the past 3 months of life.  A whirlwind for sure, and something that is teaching me how weak I really am (even though I don't want to admit it), and that my strength can only come from our gracious Lord Jesus. 

My mom was talking to me about all of this, a couple weeks ago, and mentioned something I hadn't thought of before: that maybe I need to let go of my pride.  Pride?  I didn't know I had any! 

pride.

a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people;

the quality or state of being proud as: inordinate self-esteem.

It took me awhile to figure out what she was talking about, but then she explained her point of view.  I was being prideful in the fact that I was too ashamed to admit that I have health problems, because I was embarrassed, and unsure what other people would think.  There it is: pride.  I'm too prideful to accept weakness. . .because nobody wants to be weak.  Everyone wants to be strong and do everything, and help everyone, and be the one person that everyone looks up to and trusts.  That is who I am.  And it is not bad in any way, to help others and be sad when you can't, but I was taking it too far.  I was taking it to the point of pushing the limits on my body. . .all because I wanted to keep my trust.  The people I work for trust me a whole lot, and I didn't want to let them down because of my weakness.  It all silently led to pride, and I didn't even know it.

I'm still learning to accept my weakness. . .and it's taking awhile.  I can't exercise anymore.  I can't play sports that I love anymore.  I can't even sing much anymore.  I can't keep going and going anymore like I used to. . .like all the youth my age do.  I can't keep working like I have been.  I'm going to have to leave in the next week or two. All this is because God has allowed me to be weak for a time, to learn a valuable lesson from the Savior of the universe.  To allow me to gain my strength from Him only.  To learn to trust Him for my every need.  To rely on Jesus Christ who will help me through the struggles of this life.  But the blessing is that it wont last forever. . .we who are believers in Him have the hope of Heaven to look forward to.  Where it is promised to have no suffering or trials.  Where we are privileged to spend time with our Father, forever.  The struggles of this life are only for a short period of time.  Why do we become so discouraged when problems come up?  This is not the end!  We should all keep saying to ourselves "look up! look up!".

Life is a journey.  It comes with many joys, and sadness.  With struggles, and happiness. Now we just need to enjoy the 'experience of being alive', and praise the Lord for allowing us to be on this earth and giving us the privilege to be a blessing and a light to the other people that God has created.

He is worthy and greatly to be praised

 Olivia